Brian, you've told me that you began the exploration of your bisexuality later in life. How old were you when you had your first experience with a man?
I began to tentatively explore my desires for men in my early twenties. While still in university, I visited men's steam baths several times. Inexperienced, I was approached by men, but it did not go any further than being manually fondled. It was not until years later, in my early 30's did I have my first complete sexual experience with a man, again at a steam bath.
Although this encounter took place over 20 years ago, I recall it like it happened yesterday. I awoke very early on a hot, sultry summer morning. I became aware of my raging hard-on that was aching for attention. I felt the hard shaft and the hunger within. I knew that this was a need that could not be satisfied by a pussy. It was if my cock had a mind of it's own and I was following it's agenda. It was time and I was ready. I slipped on a tight, black spandex G-string, which barely contained my growing lust and left my apartment.
I arrived downtown, shortly, and entered the steam bath. The sign said "Men Only" and remember my cock twitched delightfully. I got a room and towel and stripped down. I felt very sexual, alive and was very much a man on a mission. I knew what I wanted and I was here to get it.
I finally saw him. He was older, probably 10-15 years my senior, about my height with a slim body and I wanted him. I just knew he was a man that would meet my needs and I confidently ushered him into my room. I do not remember what I said, if anything. Certainly little was said as words were not required. My confidence and direct attitude I believed conveyed to him my desires. He was responding to my masculinity. We were on the same wavelength and nature was taking it's inevitable course. I pulled the towel that he was wearing around his waist and pushed him onto my bed where I caressed his nipples with my hands. The blood rushed into my cock giving me a hard, strong erection. I used my hand to spread his legs as I prepared to enter my first man. I slid into him easily, like a hot knife into butter, and beautifully. As I gently, but firmly pushed into him I felt him open up to me, an incredible feeling of his desire to please me and give me what I wanted. The the full length of my engorged cock was now buried inside of him and I began to fuck him slowly and rhythmically. I was just seconds away from what was to be the most intense and satisfying orgasm I had experienced. I wanted to savour the moment, commit it to memory where it would be burned into my brain. I exploded into him filling him with every drop of semen that my body had produced. I never felt so sexual, so masculine so potent. I had penetrated a man and planted my seed in him. Mating with him was not only sexually very satisfying, but also psychologically fulfilling. I felt complete and believed I was on the path to realizing my full potential as a man.
Initially, I cannot recall when I develped an interest/attraction to male"s. I think it had to do with wanting to express my masculinity and sexuality without the social contraints/requirements of meeting, dating and so on. I think the catalyst was experiencing my sexuality on a animalistic level. I see, I want, I take approach.
My first full sexual experience was fuelled by pure lust. I wanted to have a man underneath me, penetrate him and plant my seed inside of him. The experience was incredibly intense and fulfilling. Mating with a man was for me the ultimate act in expressing my masculinity and sexuality.
Do you still enjoy women as much as ever, or have your experiences with men affected those desires at all?
Yes, I adore women and love to please them. If anything my experiences with men have made me a more passionate, sensual lover. I believe all our sexual experiences make us the person/lover that we are. Any positive sexual experience is enhancing and affirming. I do, however, have needs that only a man can satisfy.
Have you experienced a threesome with a male/female couple yet? If so, was it a positive experience? What did you like about it? Dislike?
I have been in a threesome two times with a m/f couple. Absolutely it was positive experience. The first time, it was at a swingers club in Boca Raton, Florida, many years ago. I saw a mature, older, tall, slender and busty woman accompanied by a much older gentleman. In the whirlpool I approached her directly and introduced myself. She put me off by saying something like maybe I could see her later. I don't recall exactly what or how she rebuffed me. I went to lie down in the sun and within minutes her husband asked me if I wanted to join them. I was not interested in him, but I was aching for her. He massaged her breasts, while I worked on her pussy, exploring her with my fingers. After some time, she said she needed a break and they left. She did come back and as my hand slipped into her I felt a wetness I have never experienced before. It was like she was melting inside from the raging desire in her pussy.
No regrets, if I was not going to have her, it would not be for not trying. It was a real turn-on her coming for me and massaging her with her husband. Her leaving to consider if she wanted to proceed and then coming back confirming her interest really aroused me. The tease factor, having to wait and the realization that my patience paid off when she laid down again and she opened up to me completely. I loved fucking her while her husband watched.
My second experience was about 5 years or so ago in Toronto. I had answered an ad in a swinger's magazine from a dominant bisexual, mature couple. They were from out of town and we met at a hotel in downtown Toronto. After going down on the woman briefly, her husband took me away from her and began to passionately suck me. I responded strongly to his mouth and was hard for him. His wife took over for a short time only. I did not say anything, but preferred her husband's attentions. I came very close to climaxing for him, but I could not get over the edge. It is often difficult the first time with someone new. I spent some time passionately kissing his wife which I enjoyed very much.
As I was relaxing on my stomach, without a word, her husband lay on top of me and knowing what he desired, I opened my self for him. He pushed his cock-head into me, but being very tight and inexperienced (and without the benefit of preparation and lubrication) I was unable to receive his shaft. I do remember his wife lying beside us and whispering to me, "he's the best." Reflecting on that and his desire to penetrate me is very exciting. This is what I am currently seeking/craving to experience. This encounter clarified for me my deepest desires. Unlike the previous threesome, most of the interaction was with the man. To-day I am only interested in couples where the man is bisexual and an alpha male only, not a switch.
Do you feel comfortable "coming out" with these tendencies to more "vanilla" friends and family? If not, what are the attitudes that discourage you from doing so?
I have no desire to come out, as it were, to family or friends etc. Being bisexual to me is about desires and is not akin to pretending to be straight when one is gay. I am true to who I am, and that is what is important.
When I was in my 30's I had a sexual relationship with a woman. I revealed to her my bisexual desires. She was very supportive. She did not feel threatened or insecure about my needs for men. She encouraged me and asked about my adventures. She did not ask to be included or watch, nor did I offer this to her. Looking back her approval was very important to my evolving sexually. If she had been negative in her reaction, I am sure this would have had some negative impact on me.
What if you found yourself in a satisfying triad-style relationship with a man and a woman...would this be a long-term commitment that you would consider making?
Nikki, as you know I have been approached by a woman to serve her husband and her sexually. We have exchanged some information, pictures and discussed our desires. We seem well-matched and I believe there is a potential for chemistry. We need to meet to see if there and progress from there. My heartfelt desire is to serve a mature, confident couple who are libidinous, passionate, sensual and clear about their desires/needs. It takes some time and effort to create/achieve this type of dynamic. I would not use the word commitment, but an ongoing/evolving situation.
Her husband is an ALPHA MALE who she wants to see pleasured by another man. This is what I have been craving now for some time. To experience a man's passion, potency and virility. I would hope that this would be ongoing, so we could continue to explore our sexual desires. I have needs beyond orally servicing a man. I want to experience real intimacy and male bonding. I think it is natural over time as people become more comfortable with each other that inhibitions are shed opening the door to unexplored desires.
I want to be pursued by a married ALPHA MALE, with his wife's blessing, to be seduced and bedded by him. I want to be lusted after by him and to be desired by him. To know that he is aching and dripping to get into me would boil my brain.
Thank you so much, Brian, for these insightful and compelling answers! It is fascinating to me to have a glimpse into the experiences of a man who is, in a very real way, living some of the stories that I have been writing. Thank you for sharing.
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