Sex. It drives us, makes us who we are. I write it and I have a lot of opinions about it. And about other things--everything from movies to politics to education. In fact, after several months absence I've come to realize that I am no sex-pert and that my opinions and passions are far too varied to limit myself to only sexual issues. So....since this is my blog, I figure I should be able to voice my opinions about whatever I please.
If that makes me a be it!

So read, comment, ask questions, rant and rave...but most of all enjoy and open your mind to possibilities!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Lights on...Lights off?

Sounds a little bit like a quote from The Karate Kid, doesn't it? Wax on...wax off! Actually that sounds a bit like an ad for a Brazilian waxing operation! But that was last week's topic. Now...where the heck was I?

Oh yes...LIGHTS!

This past week I heard a little tidbit of info on the radio that had me absolutely reeling. According to the DJ's who are, no doubt, iron-clad sources...20% of men have never seen their wives without makeup on. Uh...excuse me?

Having lived with the same man for more than 20 years, experienced childbirth, along with various other indignities, together. Having showered together and...oh yeah...woken up together, it is very difficult to conceive of a relationship where this is even possible! However...I suppose, with enough obsessive compulsive mascara and blush applications, anything is doable. However, upon thinking about it, it leaves out a couple of obvious scenarios...

Showering together--unless, of course you have all waterproof makeup and/or never put your head under the spray during fellatio. (There IS innuendo in there. Make no mistake.)
And my other stab in the dark at here is would be to postulate that many of these women always, always make love at night, and with the lights off! I mean, seriously...that seems like a much more feasible scenario than someone who never, never, ever takes their makeup off before bed, or who manages to keep it intact during vigorous rubbing against the sheets and pillows. To me, keeping the lights off is the most viable explanation for this startling number. Not that the thought of millions of insecure women never allowing their spouses to see them in their full, beautiful, unaffected glory isn't equally disturbing. It just seems more...doable, I suppose.

Personally, while I do enjoy a little ambiance, now and then--a darkened room does have a sense of romance and mystery, I'll admit--for the nost part I like to see my partner, and I rather like him to see me. Although in recent years I have tried very hard to keep my body in reasonable shape, I am by no means perfect. But really...what I actually look like is beside the point. I know full well that it's my perception of myself and my perception of how he perceives me that is important. Having the lights on or off has little to do with all that. My body and my face, and how I perceive of myself in my head isn't affected by whether I'm wearing makeup or whether the lights are on and off. It's all in my head...and that's where the changes have to take place for someone to become truly comfortable inside their own skin and with their own sexuality.

I'm really not sure how to teach that, or help people with that. All we can do is talk about it, I guess. Get it out there. So, here I am, doing my small part to make the world a brighter place. ;-)


  1. Maybe this lights off thing is a conservative plot to eliminate intimacy masquerading as a Conserving Energy Scheme? I need the flood lights on, otherwise I can't get good a video image.

  2. It's all good! As long as it's all good.